MARRIAGE IS NOT FOR BOYS
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife . . .” Genesis 2:24.
This indicates that marriage is not for boys. A man can be matured physically and not be mentally, emotionally and such likes prepared for marriage. Age is inconsequential when it comes to maturity. You attain maturity by accepting responsibility and accountability.
Marriage is not about your physiological development, for one’s masculinity does not connote maturity. That you are as old as Methuselah does not confer on you the wisdom of Solomon. Never mistake growing up with growing old.
A MAN MUST BE ABLE to FACE the CONSEQUENCE of his ACTIONS WITHOUT apportioning BLAME; he MUST have a sense of direction. It is not enough for you to have a vision as a man. You must be able to sell the vision to a lady – that is the essence of leadership. You must be able to make informed decision in your life.
Until you grow mature, God may be delaying the woman He has kept for you. Sometimes it is not what God wants to do in your life, but your readiness for it. Adam never grew. He was never a child. He was created as an adult man to qualify him for marriage – No wonder he made a shipwreck of the union.
- A boy marries for passion while a man marries for purpose.
- A boy walks away when challenged, while a man sticks it out.
- A boy is dependent while a man is independent
- A boy sees love as a feeling while a man sees love as a commitment.
I am captivated by Gbeminiyi Eboda description of a boy In His book “Single Without Wrinke”.
- A boy want attention but a man gives attention.
- A boy want to be heard, a man seeks to listen.
- A boy want to be known a man seeks to know.
- A boy has ability but a man shoulders responsibility. remember, ABILITY without RESPONSIBILITY will turn a man into LIABILITY. He concluded ; A man who is not made for marriage will not be made in marriage.”
Perhaps you are reading this post and you got married as a boy, you will make a sabotage of the marriage. Hence, there is the need to grow up.
Let’s consider some exhibition of immaturity in marriage today:
- Refusing food prepared with your own money because you are angry.
- Keeping malice with your wife.
- Beating your wife at the slightest provocation.
- Running after every thing in skirt. Do you know that emotional maturity is being able to delay gratification – YOU MUST BE ABLE TO GIVE DIRECTION TO YOUR ERECTION.
- Keeping late nights because of misunderstanding and leaving the comfort of your room to sleep in the living room.
- Threatening your wife with divorce each time there is a misunderstanding.
- Sometimes you even refuse to pick your calls, and you come home and start screaming that you are the head of the family.
Do you know that you do not need validation from your wife to determine your worth: you get your worth from your work. Respect is better earned than demanded.
Beloved, kindly grow up, Apostle Paul says: “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” 1 Corinthians 13:1.
Remember: MASCULINITY DOES NOT CONNOTE MATURITY AND AGE IS NEVER AN INDEX OF MATURITY.
Dr Tinu Steve- Babalola.
CEO Tinu- lade consult.
SUMMARY:
This message tells us that marriage is built on Genesis 2:24 — “Therefore shall a MAN leave his father and his mother and be joined to his wife.” The instruction is for a MAN, not a boy.
This shows that marriage is not for boys. A man can be matured physically and still be unprepared mentally and emotionally for marriage. Age is inconsequential when it comes to maturity. You attain maturity by accepting responsibility and accountability. Marriage is not about physiological development, because one’s masculinity does not connote maturity. Being as old as Methuselah does not give you the wisdom of Solomon. Never mistake growing up with growing old.
The example of Adam proves it. He never grew; he was never a child. He was created as an adult man to qualify him for marriage — yet he made a shipwreck of the union. Sometimes it is not what God wants to do in your life, but your readiness for it. Until you grow mature, God may be delaying the woman He has kept for you.
THE BOY vs THE MAN
A boy marries for passion, but a man marries for purpose.
A boy walks away when challenged, but a man sticks it out.
A boy is dependent, but a man is independent.
A boy sees love as a feeling, but a man sees love as a commitment.
Drawing from Gbeminiyi Eboda’s book “Single Without Wrinkle”:
A boy wants attention, but a man gives attention.
A boy wants to be heard, but a man seeks to listen.
A boy wants to be known, but a man seeks to know.
A boy has ability, but a man shoulders responsibility.
Remember this: ABILITY without RESPONSIBILITY will turn a man into LIABILITY. And as he concluded, “A man who is not made for marriage will not be made in marriage.”
EXHIBITIONS OF IMMATURITY IN MARRIAGE TODAY
- Refusing food prepared with your own money because you are angry.
- Keeping malice with your wife.
- Beating your wife at the slightest provocation.
- Running after everything in skirt.
- Lack of self-control — emotional maturity is being able to delay gratification. “YOU MUST BE ABLE TO GIVE DIRECTION TO YOUR ERECTION.”
- Keeping late nights over misunderstanding and leaving your room to sleep in the living room.
- Threatening your wife with divorce each time there is a misunderstanding.
- Refusing to pick calls, then coming home to scream that you are the head of the family.
If you got married as a boy, you will sabotage the marriage. Hence, there is the need to grow up.
THE MARKS OF A MATURE MAN
A man must be able to face the consequence of his actions without apportioning blame. He must have a sense of direction. It is not enough to have a vision — you must be able to sell the vision to a lady. That is the essence of leadership. You must also be able to make informed decisions in your life.
Do not seek validation from your wife to determine your worth — you get your worth from your work. Respect is better earned than demanded.
Apostle Paul admonished: “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things” — [1 Corinthians 13:11].
FINAL CHARGE
Remember: MASCULINITY DOES NOT CONNOTE MATURITY AND AGE IS NEVER AN INDEX OF MATURITY.
THE BOTTOM LINE:
Marriage requires a man of responsibility, vision, discipline and commitment. Until you grow up, you will only destroy what God wants to build.
By Dr. Tinu Steve-Babalola | CEO, Tinu-lade Consult
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